Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Oy, Richie...You Silly Dumbfuck

"I love everyone. Coons. Fags Trans...What?! Coons and Fags Is Wrong?!"
This week, the Ted Wells report on the Miami Dolphins/Richie Inconito/Jonathan Martin bullying came out-- and it was an eye-opener, to say the least.

Even if you're not a sports fan, pretty much everyone now is a fan of following reports of bullying; so I am going to assume, as my words progress, that at least a few of you know something about this case.

No, this is NOT an anally researched piece of fierce, tweed-jacketed reportage; just an opinion from where I sit.

And, as it turns out, I am sitting right fucking HERE.

Before I get to the meat of my idea, lemme just say this: Jonathan Martin, I dig how small it all made you feel. Still, if this should ever happen again, punch that motherfucker in the throat.

Easy for me to say, I know; but if you can knock defensive tackles and defensive ends on their asses during the heat of a game, you could knock out some brainless asshole trying to get inside your head.

I hope.

The mind-blowing part of this entire Dolphins bullying thing has NOT been any sort of revelation that a certain percentage of football players are caveman idiots-- as we already knew that.

No, the mind-blowing/consciousness-opening part of all this has been that even the physically strongest/most physically fit among us could actually feel bullied!


And I now need to kinda backtrack from a thing I said two, three paragraphs ago: It's really easy for me to sit here and say Jonathan Martin should've cleaned Incognito's clock; but, it is also wrong.

It is entirely possible that a thoughtful, well-educated man like Jonathan Martin can well play a war-like collision sport such as football, and not be the type of guy who wants to engage in brawling and whatnot off the field.

Until just this minute, I was of the mind that, "hey, you're a big guy; just knock his face off, etc.!"; which means that, until right fucking now, I could not separate the notion of those physical specimens playing that game for that kinda money, from the private citizens those players are.

Kind of a funhouse mirror lysergic wake up call, in terms of the easy boxes into which I'd interred these folks.

On the other side, as much as I want to damn Richie Incognito as being a truly horrible guy from the time he escaped the womb, I just do not know.

I heavily suspect that he's a bully,racist,homophobe,bastard who might also be at least somewhat bipolar.

I mean, everything I see and read on the guy pretty much confirms he is a fucking mook, dumbass cunt of the lowest order.

Then he Tweets today his words of apology; and suddenly the NFL is like the part of Metallica's "Some Kind Of Monster" movie, where they're all whining about their feelings, and making sucky music, blah blah blah....

I'd like to think both Jonathan Martin and Richie Incognito can get a bit of help, can extend their careers, and can also be of service to younger players coming into the league.

You know: "Do as I say, not as I did" at rookie symposiums, etc.

I've no faith in anything; but I'd like to see that...